When most of us think about surrendering we associate that with weakness. Relinquishing power over to someone or something means we have given up the fight. This is the distorted view society has embedded in our minds. A personal struggle I have battled for many years. The ever so gentle whisper in my ear of doubt and fear. It was just loud enough to catch my attention any time I was faced with a decision that required me to wave the "white flag". Not only did it continue to hold power over me with my alcoholism but it debilitated me from being able to function in life on a personal level, as a mom and as a productive member of society. I was in a constant state of turmoil and indecisiveness, even when I knew in my heart what the right answer was, I allowed that small voice to creep in and remind me of the most terrifying outcomes to any given problem I faced. "Powerless" it makes you appear weak and unable to conquer your battles. The actual definition of the word powerless means "1: devoid of strength or resources. 2: lacking the authority or capacity to act." (Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 1993). When I took a deeper look at this word compared to the word surrender I noticed a difference within myself. My ability to surrender to whatever I was facing required me to develop a stronger reliance upon God. What I realized is that on my own I could not break free from the vicious attacks bombarding my mind, body and spirit. I was completely exhausted from months even years of trying to do things by myself. Interestingly enough once I did surrender I found that I developed a power that was supernatural. To the point of people asking me, "how do you do it?" It baffled them to see me in action, to see all the blessings flowing into my life. I myself at times would ask that very question while in intimate conversation with God. What has continually been being revealed to me is that when I am willing and trust that God has a plan for my life I am freed from the worries, fears and doubts of trying to fix things within my own power. Sometimes it's big things like facing up to the fact that I am an alcoholic and being honest with myself and others, having a home to live in with my children and dog, or a dependable job to continue to provide for my family. Other times it could be something on a smaller scale such as what kind of image I am portraying to others. In either case it does matter that I am willing to seek guidance from a source that has proven over and over again to be dependable. So you see we are not weak or powerless because we make a choice to surrender. We become empowered by a source that has a never ending supply of strength. When we do this faithfully it becomes second nature to us. We open ourselves up to letting go for room to grow. It may not always feel comfortable but little by little we are refined into the best version of who we were meant to be.
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