I am about to talk some 'real' life talk here. If you have ever been in a place of addiction than you will be able to relate to what I am about to share. Yesterday, Father's Day, I had 6 mos. of sobriety. This is a sickness I have battled most of my young adult life. At one point I had almost 5 years. I was able to remain sober through the last living days my mama had- which is a tremendous blessing. The reason for me writing this post is because I feel like it is important that people understand where I have been and where I am today because I surrendered to Christ. The whole purpose of this website was to reach out to other families and marriages in hopes that I could give them just a little encouragement, a little hope, and a little glimpse of the restorations God can and will give if you have reached the place of true brokenness. I believe then and only then are you able to be useful again. "The Family After" is truly about what it is like to be restored back into right relationship with God, and one another in your family. Everyone suffers when there is one with an addiction problem. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, food, and many other things can become a crutch for people who cannot seem to deal with the reality that is around them. We look for ways to numb the pain. We look for ways to escape dealing with the things that hurt us so deeply. It was not until I began to seek God again and develop my personal and intimate relationship with him that I could forgive myself, accept forgiveness from God and those I harmed (my husband and children). I did not believe that there was any way God could heal my husband an I from all the mistakes that had occurred while under the influence. And if God could not help than, there was no way I could possibly forgive myself for what I had done. I was hopeless, in despair, a pit with no bottom-complete isolation and total darkness. I was scared to sleep, scared to go outside, scared to hear birds sing or the sun shine. It was the most consuming fear and terror I have ever experienced. The small steps I have taken to begin this road of recovery have been the most difficult steps in my life. But, little by little and day by day I have a piece of my heart mended by Jesus. He whisper softly to me, "I love you my daughter, YOU are valuable and priceless to me". He tells me that He has a purpose and plan for me but, in order for me to fulfill that I have to remain useful, willing, and sober. I am a wife and mom so those are two things he has called me to do and I need to do those things with the best of my ability. My children need to see me trust God, put HIM first in my life, and be obedient to his word. They see me actively doing the things that have been suggested to me in order to stay sober. Is it easy? Most days it is not. But, because I serve a God who is compassionate, merciful, and forgiving He has equipped me to be able to handle this. We do have freedom from the bondage of addictions through Christ! There is hope for a marriage that may seem broken AND you can be all you were intended to be by allowing God to help you daily. One of the verses I read over and over is Romans 8:15 “For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’”
2 Timothy 1:7 “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” Once I realized not only who I was but, 'Who's I was' there was a radical transformation that took place in my spirit. I am here to tell you that there is freedom through Jesus. There is freedom from the chains of any addiction you might be struggling with. If you would like to request prayer, or have me pray with you I would be happy to do so. I look forward to reading your post. Be encouraged!!
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I was in prayer this morning and reflecting on my testimony...my life. I thought back to when I was a little girl and the things I have carried with me throughout my 39 years. As I was quietly speaking with God I began to have memories of Him at work in my heart. Although there was much turmoil around me with alcoholism, abuse, and neglect I always had this tender place in my heart for others. This included my very sick and broken parents. I thought about the memories my parents had helped make for me. Many were not so good and others were wonderful. I began asking God to reveal to me the ways I am creating memories for my own children. How will they remember me when they are grown, with their own families, and I am gone? What is the mark I am making in their lives? Yes, we go to church and have since they were little but, what is it outside of that they see me do for others, for God? I have some struggles with my oldest and youngest son. We have three boys..one is 21, the next is 12, the youngest 11. I decided I should start a prayer journal years ago for my children. But, it was especially on my heart for my eleven year old. So, I began doing that, I also wanted them to see and hear me pray daily. So, I started doing that. I want them to see me give my tithe, obediently-freely- the first of what I get. I am now on that journey and teaching them the importance of that blessing. They should see me reading God's word outside of church. They should see my love for God through the way I respond and love others...especially their father. I have been pricked by the holy spirit in a way that I have never been before. I want to reach out to moms and families to help them see it is not to late to start making those memories for their children. To build the legacy that their children will look back on and say, "My mama loved the LORD, and His people". What a testimony that would be! In Galatians 6:9 it says, Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up (NIV). Let us not give up moms! Let's start right now, today... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-_lkoww_IQ&index=2&list=FLpv0DJfOIdaaIpoHkL833aQ |
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June 2022
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