And that about sums up the basic description I have for myself. Obviously there's more to me than that but with the luck I have NOT had on my side in the realm of dating, this would and should be at the top of my picture on dating apps. Which by the way, I don't use anymore. What happened to chivalry? What happened to 'chance encounters'? And while we're at it; what happened to men who are confident in the fact they ARE men? I know, this is a touchy topic these days but I am not one to avoid talking on a subject just because some people have hypersensitive feelings. It appears to me the dating pool has drastically dwindled and , maybe just maybe I should relocate myself to Alaska where the population percentage of male to female ratio was 108/100 making it the highest in the United States. Anyone else out there feeling what I am putting down? I suppose I realized all this taking place when Covid struck and we resorted to connecting with people through devices because we were desperately looking for ways to build relationships with others. People just aren't genuine on those social media sites. I found that out pretty quick! Not too mention all the new terminology being used to describe the 'who' and 'what' about themselves. I had to Google several. My children seem to be much better sourced on the topics than me. So here I am...aimlessly wandering around with my biological clocking ticking so loud that other people can hear it. I feel like a cat prowling, fixated on one thing and one thing only. Patiently and quietly waiting to pounce on the perfect opportunity. By the way, we can actually learn quite a bit from animals if we pay close attention. Truth be known at 45, I am content with my life. I don't need a man, I desire that companionship, partnership and relationship. Over these last couple years I have been working on myself and healing areas that need to be healed. It's difficult to be in any relationship when you aren't in a good space yourself. I also think, since I have done such a crappy job at choosing who I think my partner should be in the past, it's very likely I should trust God with that. Still when I am out and about I find myself looking and saying, "Oh wait God, how about that one?" or "Maybe this one would be a good fit." Then....SILENCE. I have had no solid direction. So you see, the struggle really is real. Isn't it interesting how our list of things changes over time? Once we get a little older we realize the qualifications we had at twenty are nothing like the ones at forty-five? Not that we lower our standards but, the values change. The level of maturity changes too. Ultimately I want my children to see me experience a healthy, happy relationship. Which brings me to the point of dating when you have kiddos. Another deepening dilemma that puts you on guard when you're out there accepting the 'Resumes of Future Husbands'. Momma is on mission folks (wink). You just have to be so careful these days. As I sit here and contemplate my situation, I guess it would be a matter of patience. When the right one comes along, I will know it. In the mean time, I will continue to stay on the prowl. Just kidding, I will love myself and the space I am in. I will keep writing, praying and hoping that IF my Mr. Right is out there, he isn't lost somewhere in Switzerland because I am unable to show him just how cool I really am through a screen. shaking my head. Technology is a fantastic tool just not for finding your future partner. If you have met your one and only via social media platforms, take no offense to me saying that. I haven't personally had good experiences that way. I would love to hear stories about your relationship connections. Maybe you have something insightful and encouraging to share. If not, bad luck stories are welcome too. Those teach us what not to do. Thanks for reading and letting me vent out some frustrations. For now, keep prowling. (smile).
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